Confidence is a topic that comes up regularly with my coaching clients, and is a personal strength that builds the more we get to understand ourselves.

When you take the time to reflect on where you've come from, where you are now and where you want to be in the future, you start to see where you have grown along the way and what personal attributes got you there.

We are always more resilient than we think, when we are going through stressful times you wonder if it’s ever going to lift and it’s easy to get into that victim mentality – “why me”.  It takes a lot of courage and determination to lift yourself out of that negative place and flip your mind-set to “I can do this!”  It all takes time and practise, if life was easy, we’d all be fit, healthy and mega rich!  However for every negative there is always a positive, it’s not always obvious and can take months/years for us to realise what the lesson was to learn, and that out of that hardship came something positive.

Life experience is what makes us interesting, it would be pretty boring if everything always went our way – where would the challenge be in that!  We all have a story to tell, and through this we build character and resilience through the ups/downs, we grow and become stronger.

It’s important to take the time you need to heal and be kind to yourself, remember that you wouldn’t talk to a friend or relative the way we talk to ourselves in our head sometimes, this harmful self-talk  can be very destructive.  The sooner you can nip it in the bud, the sooner you will move forward and feel better.  

True happiness has to come from within, if you are always looking for things, people or places to make you happy - this will be short-lived!   Of course a new house, car or dress is always going to give you that buzz, but before long you’re looking for that next fix and the cycle continues.  I’m not saying stop getting these things, the point here is they are only temporary things and it’s important not to get too attached to relying on them to make you happy or you will forever be disappointed. 

When you are happy within yourself, life just seems easier, you’re able to deal with the knocks and attract good things into your life through your positive energy.  How do you get this, only through experience?  One positive step is through gratitude, being grateful every day for 5-10 things that make you smile and feel good, changes your mind-set  so that you start to look up and outwards, and see all the amazing things that are already in your life and attract more of it.  

What makes a confident person; this can mean different things to everyone.  I see confidence in being happy in my own  skin, standing true to what I believe in, smiling and laughing often, having a positive outlook on life, bringing out the best in others, challenging myself, continually improving through personal development and loving myself no matter what.

How confident do you feel, what attributes do others have that you aspire to, and what could you be doing to gain more confidence in your life?

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